Parents have become their Children’s friend

I think back at when I was growing up and my mother was extremely strict.  There was no way that I could even consider trying anything for that matter, because a good spanking was sure to take place.  “The dreaded hiding that felt like it was never going to stop.”  So of course, I had an absolute fear of the slipper and didn’t really tempt fate.

Becoming a mother myself, I had taken on a lot of my mother’s ways and bear in mind, Afrikaans mothers aren’t a force to be reckoned with.  I did however see the difference in parenting between English and Afrikaans, as my husband is English.  He was so much more lenient than what I was and sadly I reached a point where I sort of fell a little bit in that groove of allowing certain things to slide.  “Biggest mistake any parent can make.”  Trying to enforce your rules and discipline all over again is no joke.

But then I look at all the other parents around me and I think to myself, “Can you see what you are doing?” They aren’t parents anymore, they are their children’s friend.  When the children are young, their parents allow everything to slide and these little angels can’t do anything wrong in their eyes.  Why?  Well because in today’s day and age, with times being as tough as they are, both parents are forced to work long hours and spend very little time with their children.  As a result, the time that they do have free to spend with their children are supposed to be quality time.

Little time + Quality = Spoiled brats!  It’s a fact.  Sad reality is that nobody enjoys a spoilt brat and everybody talks about the child and the parents on a constant basis.  I don’t see how this is in any way fare on the child.  Why should they be branded so horribly because of the parent’s doing?  Do these parents even realize what they are doing to their children?

How do you take these little monster out in public?  The run around, don’t listen, break the things in the shops and throws tantrums when they do not get their own way.  And then you stand and watch these kids from a distance in the shops and see how mommy or daddy taps them on the shoulder, speaking to them so gently.

Why on earth would you do that?  Is it because of the law that states you can’t spank your children?  Bugger that.  Our government doesn’t live with my children under one roof, our government doesn’t feed my children and our government sure as hell isn’t the ones that is disciplining my children, so I will spank them if I feel that they deserve a spanking. 

I’ve had people visiting us with their children and I would sit their grind my teeth and wish that it’s time for them to leave already.  They come in and it’s total destruction and disrespect.  They open your fridge help themselves to the last bit of cold drink, scratch in your cupboard and has the audacity to complain about the fact that you don’t have the same bread spread as what they have at their house and then over and above that, they break the place down as if it belonged to them.  Where on earth is the parents and why aren’t they doing anything about it?

As soon as the child broke something, they are suddenly in a hurry to leave because they can’t seem to face the embarrassment.  But hey the worst is yet to come.  These little monsters grow older and bigger and the attitude gets uglier.  When my daughter went to High School she had this other girl that had a major issue with her because both these girls like the same boy.  So one night as I got home from work, I had this other little girl sending me a message instructing me to tell my daughter to leave her boyfriend alone.

I replied to her and said that unfortunately I don’t adhere to instructions received by children and that she should really stop being so insecure and feel threatened by my daughter because this is extremely childish behaviour.  “And what does she do after that?”  She tells me that my daughter is a whore just like me.  I mean seriously!  Since when do children speak to adults like that?  When I grew up it was a case of children should be seen and not heard.  If I had to disrespect another adult like that, my mother would have taken my head of my shoulders.

Besides the attitude of these teenagers, the minute they turn fourteen years of age, they reckon it’s completely acceptable to drink, party and take drugs.  And YES, the parents are allowing it.  The parents go as far as drinking, partying and taking drugs with the kids.  The schools have the children tested and the result is positive.  What do they do?  Suspend the child for two weeks, seek no medical help for the child and then allow them back into the school.

The parents have become the children’s downfall.  Children nowadays have not been taught on how to be responsible individuals or that there may be consequences for bad behaviour.  They have been taught that it is okay to disrespect their elders, whether it’s a family friend or a parent.  They are under the impression that they are equal to their parents, in other words, the parent’s friend. 

Let us not even talk about children that grow up in homes where there is money.  Let us just buy our children everything that their hearts desire, so that they don’t ever learn to appreciate anything in life, because they have always just gotten what they want.  Unfortunately my children aren’t that privileged to wear name brands and get what they want all the time.  So the other day my daughter went to school (Private) and the other children teased her about the shoes that she wears.  It is the no name brand might I add.

This was like non-existent when I was growing up.  I remember as a child the “in thing” was Adidas when I went to High School.  Instead of paying a fortune for the Adidas tracksuit pants, we went to a lady in the neighbourhood that made her own Adidas clothes, with the two white stripes on the side.  This was good enough for us and nobody ever teased us about it.

I wish that parents can open their eyes and see what they are busy doing.  If South Africa depends on this type of youth in the future, I don’t know where our country will end up in.

Seeing all of this and knowing what this results into has definitely encouraged me to be the strict mother that I once was and to put my foot down again.  I will not allow a child to dictate to me and whatever I do is because I have their best interest at heart every moment of every day.





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